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Writers Bookmark These Now (w/ French and Indian War Essay)

6/11/2015

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Okay so back September 6th of 9th grade I wrote one of my better papers, a history 5 paragraph essay on the French and Indian War. It reads like this, but please dont actually read it because there are more important things below and I'm only attempting to draw more traffic, lets be honest here:

    Sometimes, people will argue over how things came to be, over what triggered certain events to happen. Most commonly, one might think of evolution, in contrast to, say, creationism. For someone new to this manner of thinking, of questioning, it is important to know that it’s certainly not limited to science- history can provide many examples as well. One such, just to mention it, would be the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln. While the concept of this is all well and good, on the other hand, it is important to note that in other circumstances the trigger, or sometimes triggers, is quite obvious. In fact, it is known that clearly the French and Indian War started the chain reaction that would begin the American Revolution. It could be said that the French and Indian War was a significant cause of the American Revolution, because of economic reasons, England’s uncalled-for presence, and the intolerable conditions in general.

    To begin, it could be argued that the French and Indian War was a significant cause of the American Revolution, because of economic reasons. Let it be made clear that at this particular time, England was about to go belly-up, so to speak. Their debt was an effect of the French and Indian War and quite frankly, the King was not willing to pay money for the colonists benefit, being at this time, protection from the natives after Pontiac’s War. In order to solve the debt problem, a large tax carries over the ocean to the colonies from England. The colonists have not one, but two problems with this taxation: first of all, they think that they deserve a reward for helping defeat the French and secondly, it was illegal to be taxed without representation in Parliament. In any event, the French and Indian War was a significant cause of the American Revolution, because of this economic struggle.

    If follows, then, that the French and Indian War was a significant cause of the American Revolution, because of England’s uncalled-for presence. At the present time, the colonists had become spoiled. Unlike their ancestors who established Jamestown and Plymouth, they were fully accustomed to modest wealth and health. So much so, that they were appalled by England’s indecency. For example, the British arrogantly sicced the Quartering Act on the colonists meaning that they, by law, had to house and feed British soldiers. What adds to the misery is that these soldiers were there only to be enforcing unfair rules, such as the Proclamation of 1763. For lack of better words, the mother-country, England, was proving to have an uncalled-for presence. For an illustration of this, a person would have to look back on the seventeenth century, when the first colonies were being founded and the colonists were being granted rights such as protection from an enemy. Such a thing, now that no wars really remained, was unnecessary; they no longer feared the French, who for the record, were no longer even on the continent. In other terms, the colonists no longer needed the British, so in this way, the French and Indian War was a significant cause of the American Revolution, because of England’s uncalled-for presence.

    Furthermore, the French and Indian War was a significant cause of the American Revolution, because of the intolerable conditions in general. To elaborate on the Proclamation of 1763, mentioned earlier, it stated that settlers couldn’t move west of an imaginary line drawn through the Appalachian Mountains. Though the King, likely, wanted only to keep his people happy and unharmed, this rule didn’t sit well with the colonists, and in fact, it angered them greatly. With this in mind, one needs to remember that the land that had been taken from them was the very land that they had fought so hard to for in battle and warfare. So, as the years progress to the time of the Quartering Act, the people are becoming outraged. Shortly after this, in 1765, comes the Stamp Act which requires colonists to not only pay tax on sugar and molasses, as declared in the previous year, but on newspapers, legal documents, licenses, deeds, insurance policies, contracts, as well as playing cards. Remember, that these colonists have no representation in Parliament, and this is very much unfair. Without delay, the lawyers and journalists, a people greatly affected and with the most power to boot, expressed their frustrations. By this point, the general population began to boycott British goods and slowly but surely, one can begin the see the flame of the American Revolution ignite. Thus, one could see that the, the French and Indian War was a significant cause of the American Revolution, because of the intolerable conditions in general.

    All things considered and simply put, it could be contested that the French and Indian War was a significant cause of the American Revolution, because of economic reasons, England’s uncalled-for presence, and the intolerable conditions in general. To highlight a few various points, the war debt and the Proclamation of 1763, there is a distinguished theme leading back to the French and Indian War… which, of course, can be recognized as a significant cause of the American Revolution. This fact is simply not debatable; there is no denying it. By and large, the real question, one often overlooked, is whether or not England’s response to the French and Indian War was justifiable.

So..... now we have some writing websites Ive come across, for creative writing, that I'm going to use to assess this essay:

1)
http://www.hemingwayapp.com/

This is a new site and totally awesome. Here are some of the stats its telling me about my paper:

Readability: Grade 14 (lol, and Ive gotten up to Grade 17, however that happens since King James is only 12th)
Paragraphs: 5
Sentences: 38
Words: 901
Characters: 4511

18 of 38 sentences are hard to read.
9 of 38 sentences are very hard to read.
14 adverbs. Aim for 2 or fewer.
6 words or phrases can be simpler.
1 uses of passive voice. Aim for 8 or fewer.

These dont look like much, but they are great for dissecting a text for what should be improved. Aim for critiquing more than this but if you ever have to do a talk, this might be a way to dumb it down. 

I AM TOTALLY GOING TO USE THIS REGULARLY. AKA YOU CANT PASS UNTIL YOU CHECK THE LINK OUT.

2)
http://www.wordle.net/create

Okay this one really serves little purpose except to pinpoint the most common words and make a pretty picture with them.

The more you use a word, the bigger it is.

Picture
3) https://iwl.me/

The next stop for my paper was "I Write Like" and that site told me that my writing was most similar to James Fenimore Cooper.
Ever heard of him?
Get this:

James Fenimore Cooper (September 15, 1789 – September 14, 1851) was a prolific and popular American writer of the early 19th century. His historical romances of frontier and Indian life in the early American days created a unique form of American literature. He lived most of his life in Cooperstown, New York, which was founded by his father William on property he owned. Cooper was a lifelong member of the Episcopal Church and in his later years contributed generously to it.He attended Yale University for three years, where he was a member of the Linonian Society, but was expelled for misbehaviour. Before embarking on his career as a writer he served in the U.S. Navy as a Midshipman, which greatly influenced many of his novels and other writings. He is best remembered as a novelist who wrote numerous sea-stories and the five historical novels of the frontier period known as the Leatherstocking Tales. Among naval historians Cooper's works on the early U.S. Navy have been well received, but they were sometimes criticized by his contemporaries. Among his most famous works is the Romantic novel The Last of the Mohicans, often regarded as his masterpiece.

So thats kind of funny, with all this war stuff "right up his alley", lol.... I crack myself up. :)

And, I get a badge :)
I write like
James Fenimore Cooper

I Write Like. Analyze your writing!

4) https://750words.com/

This one I had to create an account for which sort of makes me sad :(

I pasted in the first 750 words and this is what I got, only the webpage was a lot better quality than this image....


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