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Made it Thru Monday: The Top 30 Things You Don’t Want to Hear From Your School Bus Driver

7/6/2015

2 Comments

 
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Oh, and this is month #2 of my Writing Chain (its sort of like a tag, only something new every month!) and my July prompt is out if you would want to sign up this month. :)

You can read about it here. I need all the participation I can get, lol.

Anyway, two weeks ago I shared the first half of these, and now you get the full edition:

In short, when I was in the 6th grade I read in a joke book a list of “The Top 10 things you don’t want to hear from your school bus driver”.

I was more than obsessed- I typed em up, printed them out by the 50, handed them out to everyone in creation, and still have probably an inch thick of ‘em
...three hundred and fifty pages later. (And I'm not even kidding)

 Over time, Ive added some to the list, so here you go with…




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The Top 30 Things You Don’t Want to Hear From Your School Bus Driver:

To be read starting at 30

1. …And this is my seeing-eye dog, Fred.
2. Anyone think that bump was a person?
3. Don’t believe everything you see on America’s Most Wanted.
4. For two weeks, I've been accident-free.
5. Hope you got that flu shot!
6. I might pop in the liquor store for a moment…
7. I quit NASCAR racing when…. 
8. Duck!  That’s my parole officer!
9. I wonder what theyre all pointin’ and honkin’ for...
10. I'm on an all-beans diet.
11. No passing zone? Well, it is now!
12. Oops.
13. Our Cruising altitude is 40,000ft……..
14. I’m in the mood for a field trip this morning.
15. Our Father who art in Heaven….
16. I’m gonna try out a shortcut thru the US Air Force Bombing Range.
17. Someone watch the road while I finish this color-by-number. 
18. School starts at noon, right?
19. Ten bucks says I can pop a wheelie!
20. Change the music? You want opera or bagpipes?
21. Was that the engine?
22. Well of course I’m related to Hitler. Why do you ask, honey?
23. What do you mean, I cant text and drive? 
24. Cant tell if y’all’ll  need one cast or two to fix this. 
25. Does the back of the bus smell like its on fire?
26. Who wants to drive today?
27. Who? The guy in the orange jumpsuit? Oh, he’s just... a hitchhiker I picked up.
28. Why can’t someone just make a speedometer in braille already?
29. Wonder how long I’ve been on “Empty”…
30. You wouldn't believe how easy it is to get a driver's license!
2 Comments
Maddy link
8/15/2015 05:18:06 am

I LOVE this post! So funny! I laughed so hard at the second one!!

Reply
Kate Gold link
8/15/2015 06:29:25 am

Anytime

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