Similarly, two years ago, I handed out "Tear-able Puns" in exchange for a few words in a DIY autograph book at the end of the year. That went over well.
This year I am contemplating some sort of "Gimme a Epitaph" for a theme in a similar little book but I havent decided if that will actually come to happen or I will do something else.... In any event, here are the terrible, I mean tear-able, puns I printed to bribe my friends with.
I actually had to reprint copies by the end of the week as people wanted all of them. This is that version.
-Kate Gold @ majesticgoldenrose.weebly.com
# 1: Hungry clocks go back four seconds.
# 2: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
# 3: The definition of a will is a dead giveaway.
# 4: I used to be a train driver but I got sidetracked.
# 5: A monkey in a mine field is a baboom.
# 6: A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
# 7: Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
# 8: When the toilets were stolen from the police station, they had nothing to go on.
# 9: Birds are grouchy in the morning because their bills are over dew.
# 10: You know the drill if you’ve seen the dentist.
# 11: Being struck by lightning is shocking.
# 12: Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
# 13: The butcher who backed into his meat grinder got a little behind in his work.
# 14: Toy store sign: The animals are stuffed; do not feed them.
# 15: Did you hear about the optometrist who fell and made a spectacle of himself?
# 16:. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
# 17: A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
# 18: A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"
# 19: The man who lost his left side is alright now.
# 20: The fish make of two sodium atoms: 2 Na.
# 21: Koalas aren’t bears but have the koalafications.
# 22: I’m on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
# 23: Some people are wise, and some, otherwise.’
# 24: Whats big, red, and looks like a bucket? A big, red bucket.