If you haven't already, please fill out my poll here. It will help me bunches with how I do my Wednesday posts.I was considering embedding it, but I dont know how I feel about links to my Google+ all over. :/
Also.... I am going away soon. Anyone who wants to submit posts for me to schedule in advance for said week, well that would be very nice. As always, info is
Today, just like the title suggests I have a compilation of many little things. Jokes or puns or one-liners or whatever. *shrugs*
Reading while sunbathing makes you well, red.
Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the storage closet?
Q: Why did the bird go to the hospital?
A: To get a tweetment.
At a traffic court, the judge asked the motorist: Tell me, why did you park your car here?" The man said: “Well, there was a sign that said “fine for parking
Why don't penguins fly?
They're not tall enough to be pilots.
Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A; they just arrrrr.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I worked in a blanket factory, but it folded.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I quit because it was always the same old grind.
So… I decided to retire. Yesterday I was tired. Today I will re-tire.
Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game?
A: I want a wii-match!
When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
Why did the little boy who was part of the wedding party roar as he walked down the isle?
He was the ring bear.
What do you call two people in an ambulance?
A pair of medics.
What do you call a country where everyone drives a red car?
A red carnation.