Okay, one day down, four more to go. Yay!.
If you haven't already, please fill out my poll here. It will help me bunches with how I do my Wednesday posts.I was considering embedding it, but I dont know how I feel about links to my Google+ all over. :/
Also.... I am going away soon. Anyone who wants to submit posts for me to schedule in advance for said week, well that would be very nice. As always, info is
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Today, just like the title suggests I have a compilation of many little things. Jokes or puns or one-liners or whatever. *shrugs*
If you haven't already, please fill out my poll here. It will help me bunches with how I do my Wednesday posts.I was considering embedding it, but I dont know how I feel about links to my Google+ all over. :/
Also.... I am going away soon. Anyone who wants to submit posts for me to schedule in advance for said week, well that would be very nice. As always, info is
---------------------------------------------------------------->
Today, just like the title suggests I have a compilation of many little things. Jokes or puns or one-liners or whatever. *shrugs*
The missing dalmatian was spotted
***
Reading while sunbathing makes you well, red.
***
Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the storage closet?
A: Supplies!!
***
Q: Why did the bird go to the hospital?
A: To get a tweetment.
***
At a traffic court, the judge asked the motorist: Tell me, why did you park your car here?" The man said: “Well, there was a sign that said “fine for parking
***
Why don't penguins fly?
They're not tall enough to be pilots.
***
Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A; they just arrrrr.
***
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I worked in a blanket factory, but it folded.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I quit because it was always the same old grind.
So… I decided to retire. Yesterday I was tired. Today I will re-tire.
***
Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game?
A: I want a wii-match!
***
When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
***
Why did the little boy who was part of the wedding party roar as he walked down the isle?
He was the ring bear.
***
What do you call two people in an ambulance?
A pair of medics.
***
What do you call a country where everyone drives a red car?
A red carnation.
***
***
Reading while sunbathing makes you well, red.
***
Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the storage closet?
A: Supplies!!
***
Q: Why did the bird go to the hospital?
A: To get a tweetment.
***
At a traffic court, the judge asked the motorist: Tell me, why did you park your car here?" The man said: “Well, there was a sign that said “fine for parking
***
Why don't penguins fly?
They're not tall enough to be pilots.
***
Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A; they just arrrrr.
***
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I worked in a blanket factory, but it folded.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I quit because it was always the same old grind.
So… I decided to retire. Yesterday I was tired. Today I will re-tire.
***
Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game?
A: I want a wii-match!
***
When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
***
Why did the little boy who was part of the wedding party roar as he walked down the isle?
He was the ring bear.
***
What do you call two people in an ambulance?
A pair of medics.
***
What do you call a country where everyone drives a red car?
A red carnation.
***
