These are from actual resumes! 

More Qualifications:

• I never take anything for granite. 
• I am creative, dependable, and housebroken. 
• I continually receive complaints on the high quality of work I perform. 
• I have eight arms and eight legs with excellent interpersonal skills. 
• I have unsuccessfully raised a dog. 
• At the age of twelve, I began hustling newspapers like many other great Americans had done. The only difference was that they became great. 
• I'm a rabid typist. 
• Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation. 
• Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions. 
• I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant. 

Special Requests: 

• Desired Salary: $1.00 Per Year 
• I'll need $30K to start, full medical, three weeks of vacation, stock options and ideally a European sedan. 
• Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job. 
• I need just enough money to have pizza every night. 
• I don't have a phone 4 the time being. Please email me instead. 
• I prefer setting my own pace. When things get slack I like the right to walk out and get a haircut during working hours. 
• Skills and accomplishments: 
• Set record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes. 
• I make an excellent sandwich. 
• Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year. 
• Raised over $6,000 for an organization... by sitting on a commode. 
• Proven ability to track down and correct erors. 
• Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory. 
• I am quick at typing, about 25 word per minute, 35 with caffeinated coffee. 
• Outstanding worker; flexible 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. 

Additional Information: 

• Being in trouble with the law, I moved quite frequently. 
• You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time. 
• Shot at the local gun club. 
• I've left a path of destruction behind me. 

I really am not a social media person by my own accord. When Pinterest changed (it seems it hates everyone that doesn't have an account) I made myself one.

But that's about it on the timeline. I mean, my Indian name could easily be "She Who Has 4 Friends On Google+ And 0 Pinterest Followers".

That is, Until  tsu (pronounced "sue"). 

I call it a Twitter alternative and the better Twitter and here's why:

What makes it unique is that tsu is place where you:
1- own your content
2- get paid royalties

What owning your content means is that unlike every other site out there, you get the income from the profit that tsu makes. (In the FAQ's I read that "At a high level, 90% of revenues are distributed to users. To maintain the platform, tsū receives 10%".)

Here is the exact break down of what that means for you, a hypothetical user:

As shown above, its a "pay it forward" community. If you sign up through me, I'll get paid some of what you earn and you'll in turn get paid for the people you invite.

You might be sitting here wondering how you are going to build your own community of followers when you already have developed audiences on other sites, but I think your job of getting the word out will be easier than for me where I have to start from scratch. (refer to Patrick logic, here)

Will you sign up here?

One small step for you to sign up, One huge step for me to be social successfully. 

Plus, dont you think you should be the one earning the money here, not ... Facebook?

Thats why I'm hosting a giveaway and come Black Friday one lucky winner will be getting a $15 Amazon Gift Card.

PS. If you sign up with tsu, more entries for you!

 <div align="center"><a href="http://majesticgoldenrose.weebly.com/" title="MajesticGoldenRose" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.weebly.com/uploads/2/5/5/8/25584587/1388170_orig.jpg" alt="MajesticGoldenRose" style="border:none;" /></a></div> 

Remember when I told you that I'm going to try not to have so many videos?

Yeah, well... I tried.  And today... were going to have some anyway. Compilation number.... whatever number this is now. 

I was telling a friend earlier that funny videos are a great way to de-stress, but arent they? 

But this is the exciting part: Next time (i.e. Friday) I'm going to be sharing all about the new giveaway.  There are going to be 60 entries you can get to win which is pretty huge by anyone standards

I hope you are getting excited. :)

In the meanwhile, dont forget that the Photo Contest is closing in less than 2 weeks. Tell your friends. 

I wont complain if you are social about it :) Never. 

Ps: The first video is really, really funny and if you are the one cringing that there are videos, you have to watch that one. At least that one. Its only one.....  

Something that I want to start doing a little is stealing other peoples posts. 

Sounds really bad but here me out: There are lots of bloggers that can write 20 times better than me and I want to be able to share my messages with their words. 

So here is a bit from Kim from Sweet Water and Bitter:

"Whenever a Christian starts talking about standards of dress, somebody will cry “Legalism!” and state how they have freedom in Christ and it doesn’t matter what they put on their bodies. But do a little bit more studying on the subject, and you’re bound to run across the example of “wearing the uniform of the team you represent.” I happen to be watching the Georgia/Florida football game right now, and I can tell you that if a guy came on the field in an orange and blue (FL) uniform and started running touchdowns for Georgia, everybody would be very confused. (Don’t get me wrong, Georgia would be GLAD for somebody to run them a touchdown right about now, but I’m digressing again.) It’s pretty simple, really…if you dress rather simply and modestly, you’re likely to be perceived as a Christian. Dress like a floozy and you’ll be assumed to be a floozy. Dress like a bum or just like a pure-T fool with your pants hanging off your rear and a tattoo of  some silly character on your body—you’ll look like a bum or a fool. So what do you want to say with your appearance? Do you count on your behavior and demeanor to CORRECT the initial negative impression you made? Or just reinforce a positive one?"

I totally agree with this interpretation. Maybe you have heard the question "When you get dressed, who are you dressing to please?" as a good indicator but this sort of alternative is more broad: Whose team are you playing for? 

I like the broad-ness because then it applies to more than just the clothes on your back. It becomes about your language, attitude, goals and intentions, etc. 

You can take it and make a connection even to showing love to people, like 1 Corinthians 13:13 says: And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Like Kim, Ive seen people that will cry "Legalism!" in their excuses of why they choose to conform to this world with their choices. 

But as the song goes, you cant be a beacon if your light dont shine.

Whose team are you playing for? Whose team are we playing for? 

_______

PS: The song reference is to a song of The Stutzman Sisters' "I have a Vision" album. A similar rendition is below.